How to Deal with Highly Negative People | Alternet

How to Deal with Highly Negative People | Alternet

The compassionate element involves rarely—if ever—advising the negative person about changing their behavior. It also involves never lecturing or preaching to them about the sources of their negativity. As already mentioned, most of us are not good at taking negative and critical feedback and negative people are particularly averse to such feedback. Now, it may be difficult for you to not react in some way to the negative person, especially if their negativity is getting to you. However, remember that “getting it off your chest” is only going to escalate the problem and is not going to fix it. It may help to remember that, while you have to deal with the negative person for only some time, they have to deal with themselves all the time! This recognition should help you respond—or not respond, in this case—to them with compassion.

The second element—of taking personal responsibility for your own positivity—involves doing what it takes to protect your own happiness. If you cannot maintain your positivity and composure, then all is lost. In another article, I had suggested some tips for taking personal responsibility for your own happiness. In a nutshell, it involves adopting a set of more positive attitudes, but that alone may not be enough to deal with a constant onslaught of negativity; you may have to take time away from the negative person on a regular basis to maintain your composure. Of course, if you do take time away from them, it would be important to come up with an appropriate “cover story” for it—you don’t want the negative person to feel that you are avoiding her.

The final element—of being mature—involves understanding that the most reliable way to steer the negative person towards positivity is to manifest the positivity yourself. For instance, blaming the negative person for making you feel negative is not going to help; indeed, it would be particularly ironic if you advised the negative person to “stop blaming others for your negativity” if you are blaming them for bringing your mood down!